It’s Friday! Let’s F*ck Some Sh*t Up Together!
Happy Friday, lovely! It’s time to fuck some shit up!
Twice a month, in accordance with the lunar cycles, we gather in circle here and in your inbox for a salaciously good time. We talk sex, self-care, and reclaiming what has always been ours via ritualized practices and hexing shitty politicians. And for my entrepreneurial babes out there, you’re getting a little bonus sales tip, too.
Why? Because I want to combine everything in my varied background into one place to offer my highest and greatest good to you. Take what resonates. Leave the rest.
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🔥 SEX – In this segment, I hand you a little tip to keep your sexual health in line or spice up your bedroom. Why? Because I sold sex toys for 12 years and received training from some of the best sexologists in the world. Any products mentioned are available HERE.
When is sex over?
This is a question I used to ask my clients back when I sold sex toys. And for heterosexual women, the most common response was, “When he finishes.”
In response to that, on behalf of all queer women, I’d like to offer this: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!
This is some puritanical, patriarchal bullshit if I’ve ever heard it. If your sex life is 100% determined by your partner’s needs/drives/desires and bodily functions, we need to have a little chat.
Where are YOU in that?
What if YOU got to determine when sex is over, based on YOUR OWN criteria, and it wasn’t the nonsense porn is based on?
Consider the concept of when sex is over. Ask yourself that question and see what determining factors you’d like to use if it’s not exclusively about when your partner gets off.
You’ll thank me for this exercise. Promise. 🔥
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💖 SELF-CARE – In this segment, I combine my background as a massage therapist with my training as a coach to offer you tips for physical, mental, and emotional well-being. My personal recommendation for physical movement is the Pilates-based mat work offered by Tandy Gutierrez. Not only has Tandy’s work helped me navigate living in an auto-immune body, but over the years, this has helped me more than anything else to heal my nervous system. Check out her Unicorn Wellness Studio HERE.
Let’s talk about grief. That’s a fun topic, right?
What does it feel like for you? (Do you even know? Or have you spent so much time and energy resisting grief any time it comes up that what you actually feel is the mountain of emotional resistance ON TOP of grief, and not the grief itself?)
For me, grief feels like gripping in my chest and heaviness in my gut. It’s hard and dark and brings with it waves of nausea, throat constriction, and tears.
You know the saying, “Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.” Grief is an example of that. Grief itself is painful. But what makes it worse is the suffering we create for ourselves within that mountain of emotional resistance.
Pain is part of the human experience, and if we allow ourselves to feel the pain WITHOUT MAKING IT WORSE FOR OURSELVES, we can get through it more easily and fluidly.
I was having a conversation with a couple of friends one time. One was going through something hard. The other said, “You don’t deserve to feel that.” And I stepped in with vehement disagreement. She did deserve to feel the pain of that moment. AND she deserved to have tools to help her navigate it and support to bolster her through it.
We all deserve to be equipped with the capabilities to navigate life’s painful moments so that we can get through them as fluidly as possible instead of creating our own suffering with emotional resistance.
If you’re in a moment of pain right now, grief or otherwise, I’d like to offer you a set of tools to help you navigate it and a community of support inside Project Reclamation. I built it for you. 💖
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💸 SALES – Again, I sold sex toys for 12 years. In the direct sales industry. I was fucking good at it. I earned a ton of incentives. And I trained hundreds of other women how to do the same thing. Now, I’ve taken my experience from that career, my experience with a brick-and-mortar massage practice with massage membership sales, and from building my coaching practice to develop a sales and business membership community to help other entrepreneurs redefine their relationship to sales, systems, and strategy so they can grow in a sustainable way. In this segment, I’m offering all my entrepreneurial love bugs a sales tip. Skip this part if it doesn’t apply to you. And if it does? Get my free 7-day course to find and hone your authentic sales voice at KeliLynJewel.com/voice.
If your business can’t survive when life happens, you need to make some big changes. And you deserve to have support in place to help you make them.
My cat died on Monday. She was 19. So I’ve been a mess pretty much all week. And I’m in the middle of the SellingU launch.
According to my launch plan, I’m supposed to be posting on multiple social media platforms 3-5x per day and selling in stories 3x per week this week.
I’ve done none of that, and instead, I’ve been allowing myself space to grieve.
I know my launch plan is solid. But if taking the time to care for myself means it doesn’t hit the goals I set, I also know my business will be okay.
Why? Because I’ve built in multiple revenue streams, each of which stands on its own. I have systems in place for things that need to run in my absence to do so. I work 3 ½ days a week and take time off when I need to.
Your business does not have to look like mine, but it needs to be able to sustainably support you. Financially and otherwise. And if that’s not the case, I want to help you.
Fill out the application for a consult, and we’ll talk about SellingU. You deserve it. Your business deserves it. And your clients deserve to have you showing up as your best, most supported self. Curriculum begins March 27. 💸
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✨ SPELL – Because this newsletter is sent out in conjunction with the lunar cycles, this segment offers you a moon ritual. Prior to all the stuff listed above, I studied art history as a way to develop an understanding of world religions. Since childhood, I’ve been on a spiritual journey to develop my own relationship to the divine. In no way do I have any interest in telling you what to believe or not believe. That’s for you. It’s personal. And for me, it’s cyclical. My spiritual practices have changed my relationship to time in such a beautiful way that I want to offer you a bit of that shift here by recognizing the cycles of the moon in order to hand you an opportunity to incorporate cyclical time into your experience of life. I work with many spiritual mentors, and ritualized practices are incorporated into the foundation of Project Reclamation—my equity-centered membership community—as well as the Reclamation Weekend retreats I host. And when you joined this email list, you received a Reclamation ritual from me. Again, I don’t care what you believe in or don’t believe in. Paying attention to the moon will help repair your relationship with time, which capitalism has fucked up for all of us. If you’d like to dive deeper into esoteric spirituality, I recommend checking out the Magical Mentoring program offered by Tandy, who I mentioned in blue above, for her Pilates work. That info is HERE.
Across time and culture, the moon has often represented our inner world of emotional connection, spiritual journey, and relationship to self. Aligning myself with the cycles of the moon has offered me the added bonus of shifting my relationship with time. When we allow ourselves the space for rest and renewal, rather than keeping ourselves stuck in the constant hustle & grind mentality of late-stage capitalism, our perspectives on what’s influential, what’s valuable, and what’s worthy of our energy have space to become deeper and more personal.
This week, I’m offering you a new moon ritual to hand you a little piece of that.
This doesn’t have to take a long time. The idea is to be present with yourself and focused on your full experience during the ritual. Pay attention to the sensations you feel during the ritual and make note of them afterward. I’d love to hear about your experience if you’d like to share!
NEW MOON RITUAL
The new moon is an excellent time to focus on what you want to create, achieve, or accomplish. You can get fancy with your rituals, and if you’re into altar work, crystal work, or any other kind of spiritual work, please feel free to incorporate it. Personally, I like to keep things simple.
Supplies: paper, pen, glass of water that you’ll drink
Steps:
Take a few minutes and ground yourself, whatever that means to you – whether that’s a few deep breaths, listening to a guided meditation, washing your face, putting your feet in the grass, masturbating, or anything else.
Write out what it is you want to create, achieve, or accomplish. This can be big or small. It can be for the lunar cycle beginning with this new moon, the next six months, the next calendar year, or a lifelong dream.
Read what you’ve written—out loud—over your glass of water. Then drink the water.
Sunday, we have the new moon in Pisces. Many folks will tell you this is the last opportunity to work with the moon for the next couple of months due to eclipse season opening up. I have a different view of that, but we’ll talk about it in a couple of weeks.
This is the last new moon of the astrological/zodiacal year. So it’s a lovely opportunity to reflect upon the last 12 months and consider what it is you’d like to create for the next 12 months.
The astrological/zodiacal calendar begins in the spring for the northern hemisphere and autumn for the southern hemisphere. And it has always made a hell of a lot more sense to me than the Gregorian calendar. I mean, come on! January?! No, thank you. That makes no sense. I’ll keep abiding by that for the IRS. But otherwise, Aries season and the equinox are my new year.
If you’ve not taken the opportunity to download my Reclaiming Reflection guide, I’d like to offer it here for you. (And if you have, let’s go ahead and whip that sucker out again.) Make it part of this new moon ritual. Give yourself the gift of reflection as we enter the “true” new year.✨
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✊ STATECRAFT – Politics is a not-so-secret passion of mine. I used to run a couple of political organizations here in Kansas City and lobby at the state level in Missouri with Planned Parenthood. The 2016 election is what led me into coaching after I lost my mind and a therapist told me I had “excellent coping skills” because I was focusing all my time and energy on political volunteerism. And in this segment, we might get a little petty. But we’ll always be aiming to reclaim our power from the cis-heteronormative, puritanical, white supremacist patriarchy we currently live under in this hellscape of climate change and late-stage capitalism. Here, I’ll offer suggestions on candidates to donate to, people to follow, podcasts to subscribe to, and answer the question of WHO ARE WE HEXING? (Josh Hawley is always on that list.)
I haven’t had the energy to keep up with all the bullshit this week. (And there’s SO much bullshit!)
Instead, I’d like to ask YOU: Who seems most hex-worthy this week?
Reply to this email and let me know who’s on your list, so I can hex them, too! Maybe I’ll send the list out next week, and we can all create a collective eclipse-season hex and cause chaos for them all. 😜
*This segment is not intended to promote harm to anyone in any way. I don’t hex people in real life. ✊
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That’s it for this week, lovely! I appreciate you offering me space in your day. And I look forward to seeing you fuck some shit up today! ❤️🔥
-xoxo-
Keli
P.S. I want to invite you to Project Reclamation, a private, equitable, self-coaching community, to explore the most expansive version of yourself. Inside, you’ll receive tools for nervous system regulation, emotional processing, and cognitive self-coaching. Plus, you’ll have access to Master Certified Coaches to receive written coaching as well as live coaching via group calls. And you’ll be able to join in on an integrated book club, as well as both virtual and in-person community celebrations.
Maybe life coaching has felt out of reach for you in the past, as it’s often relegated to those hoarding enough wealth to be bored. But self-discovery doesn’t actually come in Tiffany boxes, and it is my goal to make healing and growth accessible to everyone.
Inside this space, we’re committed to reclaiming our bodies, our time, our joy, and our lives from all the cultural conditioning that has left us feeling less than. And we’re doing it in a vibrant, supportive community that is truly open to everyone who shares these values. (Though cis-het white Christian men may struggle a bit.)
Registration is now open, so click the link to join. See you on the inside!
